Where Is She

It's odd. Surnia's spirit doesn't seem to be around. I'd think someone who was brutally murdered would become a ghost. Usually do. But she's nowhere.

Cold

It's getting so cold out. My hands hurt like hell. I've been wrapping them with wool under my gauntlets. But it's not just the cold in Northrend. It's cold in Silvermoon, it's cold in Thunder Bluff. Some days, I can barely get them in my gauntlets. I had to get bigger ones, so they'd fit on, especially when I wrap them up. I also made sure i got locking ones, so I don't have to worry about holding the hilt. The shield I just strap to my arm, like always, so my right hand doesn't usually hurt as much as the left. I haven't been writing lately, because half the time, I can't hold a pen. Luckily, my friend's cousin's daughter, Sara, got me a pair of fingerless gloves. She knows about the importance of having gloves for different situations.

Cousin's daughter. What is that, first-once-removed? I've never really thought about that sort of thing. She's called me Aunt Ten for awhile now, though. I've known her since she was a child, when I was training Araenna in the finer points of the healing arts. It's so odd, having family. And having them be people I already know. And one of them being Tomah's ex. That I kinda stole him from.. At least she always liked me, and still does. I haven't seen her in forever. I hope she's doing well..

The whelps try to help, with the keeping my hands warm. They take turns warming up hot water bottles, and rocks, and keep them near my hands. It's rather sweet, really. I think Atra came up with it, oddly enough. He's the only whelp not talking now. In fact, the other ones are doing fairly well with common. I think he understands it. I'm thinking I should take him to Wyrmrest, see if there's some sort of healer-dragon, who can make sure he can talk.

A Faire member was killed. It was either the person who killed Ona-whatsist, or a copycat. I dunno which, but I'm certainly not staying the night at the grounds anymore.

That Time of Yeah

It's getting cooler out. I need to buy a new pair of gloves. The cold always settles in my hands. I put the lute away, somewhere warm. I won't be playing again for awhile. It hurts to write, even. I need to dig out my chain for my sword. I don't want to drop it. Thank goodness that my shield is always strapped on. I don't know how I'd hold it otherwise.

Tomahna didn't notice any of these things last year. He didn't know. I wonder if he'll notice now? He always feels so guilty. I don't want him to notice. I get so sick of him feeling bad. I want him to treat me the way he does because he loves me, not because he feels bad.

I mean, he never meant to cripple me like this for life. He didn't know I was going to live..

Sick

I think I'm sick. Which is weird, because I don't get sick. Tomah made me some tea, though, and that helped a bit. Even if it tasted horrible. I'm taking a bit of a break from northrend. Tomah says it's probably the stress from being there. Even though we've blocked any strange dreams or whispers out, there's still all the ghosts and stuff. He's probably right.

Dem Bones

I found bones. A dragon in the Emerald Dragonshrine let me have hers. Said she was a relative of Tynera's, and so I could have them. They seem to work. Kinda. It's hard to read them. It's odd not just walking up to a ghost or something, and asking them a question outright. At least this seems to get answers consistently, even if they're vague sometimes.

Tomah asked something about swordplay. I think he wants to learn to use one. I'm going to start to teach him soon. I've been teaching him some other things, when we spend time in Stormwind. Oh, shit, Stormwind, what time is it? I have to be going. Damn it..

Life and Death

Everywhere, there is movement. I can feel it, when my bare feet touch the ground. People are moving, things are happening.

Here and there things happen. A person dies, another is accused. A person cries, and someone rejoices. It happens, always. They're always happening.

In a forest, something stirs. On a throne, someone weeps. Underground, something whispers. In a town, someone rejoices.

Things are happening all the time, and I can feel it in my bones. I hear so many more whispers, things alive and dead both speaking. What do they say? The noise is maddening at times. I block it out, and the silence becomes deafening.

Onawataya is crying, but she won't speak. She doesn't hear or see me. Aren't the dead supposed to be the noes trying to be seen? Why is it me that can't be seen when I want to be seen, and cannot hide when I do not?

Since when does one hear the dead and the living at once?

Dreams of Fire II

Many words are bolded, some seeming for emphasis, and some almost randomly. All look like they've been gone over many times. In some spots, the paper is slightly torn from the ink saturation and pressure of the pen.

I don't like these dreams. Tomah can't keep them completely away. I've never had them like this. It's always been the Light, guiding me. Or at least.. I thought it was.. What if I'm wrong? What if it's been something else this whole time? And now it's showing me this?

No, no. This is not the same. It's different. These visions don't compulse me, just.. show me. But they're contradictory! At first I thought it was just Tomahna's influence, but no. Some of the visions, they show a desolate, destroyed place. Nothing but rocks and burnt things. Others, though, show life. So much life. There is Green everywhere, more so than there even is now. Almost no sign of humanoid life. It's beautiful, but.. there's something eerie about it. I don't know if it's the obvious lack of humanoid influence, or something else.

And the visions! They're so large! I can see so much, so many things.. I can't describe it, I can't even remember it properly.. Tomahna can't see that, just what's right there, where he is. He can make them stop, make them go away, but.. Never completely. He worries. I.. not as much. These visions don't ask anything of me. They just show me. I just wish I knew what I was looking at. And who is showing them to me.